My great love

Deuteronomy‬ 5:9‬ ‭ says “….for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God….”

Growing up in Sunday school I heard this often. But it wasn’t until recently that I understood it.

You see, my entire life revolved around spirituality. Some people call it intuition. I call it the Holy Spirit! Since I was a kid, the Lord has been watching over me. I’ve been very aware of his presence.

Unfortunately, I can’t count how many times I’ve rejected his love and counsel, but like a good shepherd he always comes back for me. Searching to find his lost little sheep. That’s the God I want to devote my life to.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve known I was born to be in ministry! I had no idea what that would look like for someone like me. Heck, I still don’t know!! Sometimes I wonder if the Lord just has the most hilarious sense of humor. Because, I’m gonna be completely honest with you, Nissi Salazar is the farthest thing from perfect!

In fact, allow me to tell you a little bit about myself!

I’m a fixer - I take on other peoples problems to an unhealthy level. I have a very very addictive personality (Pornography was my vice for many years). Oh you know that whole rage thing? I have that too! I used to be a compulsive and pathological liar. These are just a few of the struggles I used to/still deal with.

But despite all of those flaws, wounds, and scars I have the Lord still constantly reminds me I was made for greater things! Ministry is no longer in spite of my downfalls but because of them!

By the grace of God, I will be able to help fixers.

Because of my addictive personality I can help other people conquer their addictions.

Instead of channeling my rage towards people I love, I can challenge myself and others to channel there rage into something productive or learn to give it to God!

And for all my other pathological liar’s out there, I feel your pain. I understand how hard it is stop, but with God all things are possible!

You’re probably thinking to yourself “ Wow, Nissi’s really tooting her own horn”. And this is where I need to be perfectly clear. Believing in something is very different then knowing something! I know I am made perfect in my weakness because my God said so in His Word! Believing that is a daily struggle for me. I guess that’s why they call it faith.

I am able to say all this, because, perfectly-loving God looks past all of the gunk in my life. He calls me beautiful, talented and brilliant! But, like it says in Deuteronomy, God is very jealous, and the moment I take my eyes away from him he starts calling me back. Not because he needs my attention, but because I need him! I believe one day I will be married, have a husband and kids, the whole 9 yards! However, I pray the Lord will always be the love of my life!