It's a controlling sort of thing

I love NOT being in control of my own life!! No no no… That’s not right. Let me try again:
I am learning how to love not being in control of my own life!
I know, that’s pretty funny coming from someone in my situation. Here is the truth: I decide what I wear, eat and who I see. I also decide where I go. But I have never truly felt like I was in control.
Even though I decide what I wear, someone still has the dress me. I may decide when I eat but someone still has to feed me. If I want to go out with friends I always have them make sure someone’s there who can physically pick me up or drive my car.
But let me tell you something, I have had some of the funniest conversations with my girls getting dressed in the morning. And it’s pretty hilarious when i am riding with my friends and they’re yelling at me from the back of their vehicle asking me how to tear apart my chair. And the brave few who have driven my car…it’s always an adventure!!!
When my dad feeds me, he sometimes brags about how great he is at feeding me. That makes me smile.

Allowing myself not to have control over certain circumstances has given me the opportunity to enjoy life in a whole new way. In no way shape or form am I amazing at this! I probably suck at it, actually. And that, my friends, is where the Big Guy upstairs comes in. I could try all day long not to micromanage my life but I’m only human and humans tend to make mistakes. Thank you Lord that your love and grace always covers me, and in you there is no guilt or shame!

 Ns

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Yosemite!!!!

Image
Tired, cold and hormonal! A very bad combination. I could tell my sisters and mom were getting tired of my bad behavior. You know that saying, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Well, I was biting - and hard! I had only slept for about 45 minutes the night before we arrived in California. Not to mention, I almost fell out of bed many times in our hotel room the following night. To say I was upset that my sisters were going to go climb these wonderful mountains while I was stuck in the valley (Yosemite Village) with my mom would be pretty accurate. I’m a firm believer in having a positive attitude. Bad behavior is a choice. And I was making all the wrong choices, driving up to Yosemite National Park . From the very beginning, my sister adamantly reminded me that she wanted to go climb the mountains. “Is that OK with you?” she asked. Like a dummy I kept saying, “Yeah. Sure. No problem,”  when clearly that was a lie. I wanted to be so selfish and for some ...
Read more

My great love

Deuteronomy‬ 5:9‬ ‭ says “….for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God….” Growing up in Sunday school I heard this often. But it wasn’t until recently that I understood it. You see, my entire life revolved around spirituality. Some people call it intuition. I call it the Holy Spirit! Since I was a kid, the Lord has been watching over me. I’ve been very aware of his presence. Unfortunately, I can’t count how many times I’ve rejected his love and counsel, but like a good shepherd he always comes back for me. Searching to find his lost little sheep. That’s the God I want to devote my life to. For as long as I can remember, I’ve known I was born to be in ministry! I had no idea what that would look like for someone like me. Heck, I still don’t know!! Sometimes I wonder if the Lord just has the most hilarious sense of humor. Because, I’m gonna be completely honest with you, Nissi Salazar is the farthest thing from perfect! In fact, allow me to tell you a little bit abo...
Read more

Concussion

The easiest part about having a concussion is getting a concussion. 2 AM, half awake, I reluctantly called out to my mom.  Half asleep herself,she settled me on the ivory throne to do my business. A few minutes later, I told her I was done. “OK,”she yelled from the other room. Hearing footsteps, I assumed she was in front of me. With my eyes still closed, I leaned forward, thinking she was standing there to catch me. She wasn’t! Instead of landing on mom like I do every single day of my life, I became one with the floor, the tub, and the wall. The shock jolted me more than the actual impact. For several seconds, I tried to make my mind understand what just happened. When I finally realized, I began to frantically laugh and cry. My mom sprang into action, feeling around my body making sure nothing was broken. Satisfied, she picked me up and carried me to bed. “Mama,...my head...my head.” Without missing a beat, she placed an ice pack on my head. I fell asleep to my mom ...
Read more